Bollywood's Romanticisation of Stalking Behaviour

Bollywood, one of the largest film industries in the world, has a significant influence on societal norms and behaviours. A concerning trend in Bollywood cinema is the romanticization of stalking behaviour, often portrayed as a legitimate and even charming way to pursue a romantic interest. This portrayal can have harmful consequences, particularly in shaping the perceptions and behaviours of susceptible audiences.

Bollywood films frequently depict male protagonists engaging in persistent, unwanted advances towards female characters, who eventually fall in love with their stalkers. This narrative suggests that persistence in the face of rejection is romantic rather than inappropriate or threatening.

Darr (1993): In this movie, Shah Rukh Khan’s character relentlessly stalks Juhi Chawla’s character, obsessively declaring, “I love you, Kiran.” and “ tu haan kar ya na kar , tu hai meri Kiran” in its most famous song.  Despite his menacing behaviour, the film gained immense popularity, and Shah Rukh’s character even garnered sympathy from the audience.

Raanjhanaa (2013): The protagonist, played by Dhanush, engages in relentless pursuit of his love interest, even harming himself to gain her attention. The film presents his obsessive behaviour as a form of passionate love, downplaying the invasive and troubling nature of his actions.

Ae Dil Hai Mushkil (2016): The male lead, Ayan (played by Ranbir Kapoor), continuously pursues Alizeh (played by Anushka Sharma) despite her clear indications that she does not reciprocate his romantic feelings. His persistence is portrayed as endearing and romantic, reinforcing the idea that not taking ‘no’ for an answer is a valid approach to relationships.

Toilet: Ek Prem Katha (2017): The male lead, played by Akshay Kumar, stalks his future wife by taking her photographs without her consent and following her around. His behaviour is depicted humorously and ultimately leads to a successful romance.

Badrinath Ki Dulhania (2017): The male lead, Badrinath Bansal (played by Varun Dhawan), persistently pursues Vaidehi (played by Alia Bhatt) despite her initial disinterest. His relentless efforts to win her over include following her and trying to control her decisions. The film presents Badrinath’s behaviour as comedic and endearing, eventually leading to Vaidehi falling in love with him. This reinforces the idea that persistence in the face of rejection is a legitimate romantic strategy.

Zero (2018): The male lead, Bauua Singh (played by Shah Rukh Khan), persistently pursues Aafia (played by Anushka Sharma), a scientist with cerebral palsy, despite her clear disinterest and personal boundaries. Bauua’s relentless pursuit is depicted as humorous and heartwarming, ultimately leading to a romantic relationship. This narrative minimises the importance of consent and personal space.

Kabir Singh (2019): The male lead, Kabir Singh (played by Shahid Kapoor), exhibits obsessive and controlling behaviour towards his love interest, Preeti (played by Kiara Advani). His actions include physically assaulting her and dictating her life choices. Despite his abusive behaviour, the film portrays Kabir as a passionate lover, and his actions are ultimately justified and forgiven. This romanticization of toxic masculinity sends a dangerous message about acceptable behaviour in relationships.

Hacked (2020): In this film, the protagonist, played by Rohan Shah, hacks into the personal devices of his love interest, played by Hina Khan, after she rejects his advances. He uses this access to control her life and intimidate her

From 1993’s “Darr” to 2020’s “Hacked,” Bollywood has continually portrayed stalking behaviour as a form of romantic pursuit. This long-standing trend raises questions about the messages these films intend to convey and whether the industry is perpetuating such narratives simply because they are popular and profitable. The persistence of this theme suggests a troubling normalisation of invasive and harmful behaviours under the guise of romance.

By portraying stalking as an acceptable form of courtship, these films normalise behaviours that are invasive and can be terrifying for the victim. Young audiences may internalise these behaviours as normal and acceptable ways to express love and affection, potentially leading to real-life instances of harassment and stalking. These portrayals reinforce problematic gender dynamics, where male persistence is rewarded and female autonomy and consent are undermined.

Simone De Beauvoir discusses how women are often socialised to accept passivity and submission, viewing themselves through the lens of male desire and pursuit. Bollywood’s romanticization of stalking mirrors these societal expectations, presenting women as passive recipients of male attention and normalising intrusive behaviours as expressions of love. This dynamic undermines the concept of consent and perpetuates harmful stereotypes about gender roles.

A critical media education approach encourages viewers to deconstruct these narratives and consider healthier representations of gender relations. For example, discussing the glorification of abusive behaviour in “Kabir Singh” can lead to broader conversations about respect, consent, and mutual understanding in relationships.

While Bollywood has a profound impact on its audience, it also has a responsibility to portray behaviours and relationships in a manner that promotes healthy and respectful interactions. By moving away from romanticising stalking, Bollywood can contribute to changing societal attitudes and fostering a culture that values consent and mutual respect. Films should clearly depict stalking and harassment as unacceptable behaviours with real consequences and create strong, autonomous female characters who assert their boundaries and make independent choices about their relationships.

Bollywood’s romanticization of stalking behaviour is a significant issue that highlights the need for critical media education.Through critical engagement and resistance, audiences can advocate for more responsible and empowering portrayals, promoting healthier and more respectful relationships