Mom vs Dad

• Nabeeha Khan
• Jun 15, 2024
• 2 min read

Growing media popularity, especially social media, which most of us consume for hours on an average per day, is subconsciously adding to our ideas about how we perceive the world and relationships.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C7b6c03OYG-/?igsh=MWlyb243Z3J0bGdmMw==

I came across this particular Instagram reel and it made me think about how double standards exist even in parenting and media platforms have instilled them in us almost so innately that many of us may fail to recognize it.

Motherhood has been portrayed as a powerful emotion that can transform a sweet, gentle, caring mother whose entire life’s purpose is to raise her children into an evil witch even after she dies in order to exact revenge for them. The same characteristics are used depending on the genre for any mother depicted, whether it is an advertisement for

household products where the mother is cooking, cleaning, or teaching her children, or in horror films like Mama, where she returns to take someone else’s child away to be a mother once more. A mother is expected to be sweet when her child is young, but as soon as he reaches his rebellious age, the same mother becomes overly sensitive to her child and experiences separation issues. Many Pakistani TV serials are based on the same concept of a mother who transforms into an evil, overpowering mother-in-law. In other media like Young Sheldon, mothers are often seen as not allowing their children to go off to college to keep them close.

Meanwhile, the father remains calm and collected, thinking with his mind rather than his heart, allowing the child to be free, and believing that his wife has lost her mind over the child’s development. The father also has a life outside of the house where he works and has a social network, and he is being pressured by his wife at home to help her out or give her time, which causes him to start drinking or cheating. When he spends time at home, he is portrayed as a superhero father, but the same is true of a mother’s daily responsibilities.

You may have come across numerous stories that follow this same pattern. Actresses who prioritize their careers after marriage or having children are often criticized and labeled as bad mothers. However, in recent years, more attention has been paid to these double standards in parenting, encouraging mothers to pursue a career while also normalizing their own lives outside the home. Beating gender norms is not the only issue with these media depictions; the idea that a perfect home is one in which chores are evenly distributed among a heterosexual couple undermines the efforts of single and same-sex parents who provide their children with an arguably better life.

Such topics are increasingly being discussed on social media platforms, and they are

central to many feminist movements around the world. I was overjoyed to have discovered people creating such content; however, it is worth noting that it was created by a woman. There is still a long way to go before the message is widely accepted by more people, and perhaps popular media depictions on the subject can lead us down that path.